“We use the concept of otherness to insulate ourselves and to disconnect. This is why it is such a serious barrier to reaching out as a method of shame resilience.” – Reaching out in either direction is tough—practicing courage is as difficult as practicing compassion. They both require us to lean into our discomfort. It was hard for Tiffany to tell Jennifer the truth about her life and it was also painful for Jennifer to listen. But she forced herself to do it because Tiffany and her relationship with Tiffany were important to her. Sharing our shame with someone is painful, and just sitting with someone who is sharing his or her shame story with us can be equally painful. The natural tendency to avoid or reduce this pain is often why we start to judge and insulate ourselves using otherness. We basically blame them for their experience. We unconsciously divide people into two camps: worthy of our support and unworthy. When someone is feeling shame over one of these otherness issues, we don’t feel that compelled to reach out. Likewise, when we are feeling shame because we are experiencing one of these stigmatized issues, it is difficult to reach out for support. It’s easier to believe we deserve our shame
– Brene Brown
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be http://ift.tt/1Y4W8fh

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