“Woman will be alienated or trapped in the desires of a man [when] the question ‘what is it to be a woman?’ is approached from the man’s point of view” – DARIAN LEADER [on trying to know the desire of the Other and trying to gain an identity from this fantasmatic knowledge] http://ift.tt/1HJK3nW

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“Why had it fallen apart at the moment she had what she wanted? ..They had continued a long-distance relationship for two years, travelling on alternate weekends across the Atlantic to see each other.. ..She was finally able to move in with her boyfriend.” – she now no longer had a desire. The relationship had been characterized by longing, now there was nothing left to yearn for. The depression was a consequence of the void that this attainment had introduced. The situaton was in fact more complex. As she described the weekends to and from the States, she realized that the key for her had been the moments of departure. Her memories were focused around these tearful scenes. When she was fourteen her father had died of cancer, yet no one in the family had told her what he was suffering from or that it would prove fatal. When she was led out of the classroom to receive the bad news ‘nothing made sense anymore’. He died without her ever having been able to say goodbye. It was no accident that she had fallen in love with a man who lived so far away. The weekend trips allowed her to stage what she called ‘one hundred goodbyes’.

– Mourning, Melancholia & Depression. Darian Leader, p23