“Woman will be alienated or trapped in the desires of a man [when] the question ‘what is it to be a woman?’ is approached from the man’s point of view” – DARIAN LEADER [on trying to know the desire of the Other and trying to gain an identity from this fantasmatic knowledge] http://ift.tt/1HJK3nW
“our questions are addressed beyond these particular others to the generalized Other of the cultural order in ..What kind of person do you expect me to be? What are you thinking?” – DARIAN LEADER http://ift.tt/1ygPtF2
“Man is really jealous of..not another man but [of] the sexuality itself of the opposite sex.” – DARIAN LEADER http://ift.tt/1Gyp7zr
“we chastise ourselves for what we could have done: We should have called more often, been more agreeable. ..Anger at the person for leaving, ..can get in the way of the work of mourning” – DARIAN LEADER http://ift.tt/1C2ChSk
“Why had it fallen apart at the moment she had what she wanted? ..They had continued a long-distance relationship for two years, travelling on alternate weekends across the Atlantic to see each other.. ..She was finally able to move in with her boyfriend.” – she now no longer had a desire. The relationship had been characterized by longing, now there was nothing left to yearn for. The depression was a consequence of the void that this attainment had introduced. The situaton was in fact more complex. As she described the weekends to and from the States, she realized that the key for her had been the moments of departure. Her memories were focused around these tearful scenes. When she was fourteen her father had died of cancer, yet no one in the family had told her what he was suffering from or that it would prove fatal. When she was led out of the classroom to receive the bad news ‘nothing made sense anymore’. He died without her ever having been able to say goodbye. It was no accident that she had fallen in love with a man who lived so far away. The weekend trips allowed her to stage what she called ‘one hundred goodbyes’.
– Mourning, Melancholia & Depression. Darian Leader, p23
“You can’t do analysis unless you suffer. ..If someone said they wanted to do it out of intellectual interest I wouldn’t really take that seriously – there have to be problems.” – http://ift.tt/1EMIXnR – DARIAN LEADER
“Medicine doesn’t want to know anything about the wish to die. And psychology tends to shy away from the Freudian idea of identification with the lost object. ..Yet ..this is ..a basic human response to loss.” – Darian Leader